-Hung from the leaky ceiling are a series of 8-10 foot boats; winners of the annual Minimal Regatta race held every Memorial Day weekend. (For more on the Minimal Regatta, see a later chapter of the chronicles titled "Really Dumb f*cking Things We Do for Fun") And there are staples...thousands of them covering virtually every piece of wood, from support posts and walls, to stools and the bar itself...remnants of this or that announcement such as a band appearance, missing persons notice, help wanted, job wanted, or boats, motors, sails, for sale and about any other item imaginable. It once took an employee an entire week to remove the staples, only to find them reappearing in record numbers.

"14 Years and still drinking in the morning"

-The bar stools are home made from PT decking and fastened with marine deck screws. No two are the same size.
A TV set occupies the shelf over the juke box and is usually tuned to the Weather Channel.
Those living and working on the water have a vested interest in weather conditions. A larger TV sits in the old fish house area, and is reserved for those morons who can't go for 5 minutes without watching a college basketball game.

-A breathalyzer machine sits by the steps, presumably intended for patrons to check their blood alcohol level and then make a sane decision
about driving home. What actually happens is that some try to see how high a level they can blow, with side bets on the outcome. Capt. Pat holds the record with a 3.1.

-A small stove sits in one corner, home made from a 30 gal oil drum and a few sections of sooty vent pipe. Scrap wood is burned, mostly from wooden pallets cut up with chain saws. This accounts for the 20 or so pounds of nails in the bottom of the drum. The stove keeps the occasional chill away especially for the boat rats, those living out "on the hook" around Christmas Tree Island.

-If you want to watch something akin to a monkey f*cking a football,watch the fire building skills of the Breakfast Clubbers on a chilly morning. Everything
flammable from the local newspapers to diesel fuel has been used to try to start a fire.
The bathrooms have been upgraded from the "absolutely disgusting" criteria to "bearable-but-smelly". Their debut a few years ago was complete with a grand opening and a live remote from a local radio station. The sounds from the head were deemed "not suitable" for sensitive listeners. Normally, one or two of the boat rats can be found shaving or taking a whaler's bath in the sh*tter.

All in all, it is a pretty good bar, some consider it great, but it doesn't pay to give the owners big ideas. It has been patronized by Mel Fisher, Pulitzer Prize winners Phil Caputo, Jeff MacNelly, and Charles Karault, who wrote in his last book that it was simply "the best bar in the entire world". It is imagined that Mr. Karault was stinking drunk when he wrote that, but who are we to criticize such literary giants?

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